Teacher: "Okay class let's start by sharing our dreams. What's yours David?"
David: "My dream is to earn $20,000 a month like my dad."
Teacher: "Wow! Your dad earns that much?"
David: "No ma'am, that's also my dad's dream."
After conducting a preliminary investigation about home burglary, the homeowner is very anxious if he could get back his stolen belongings.
Homeowner: "Officer what is the chance of me getting my things back."
Police: "It's very unfortunate this happened. I am sorry even if we catch the culprits, chances are your properties are already sold or gone."
Homeowner: "What should I do?"
Police: "Better lock next time."
Two mountaineers reached a huge, deep fissure in a glacier.
"Careful here," says one of them. "My mountain guide fell down there last year."
"I bet you felt bad about that," says the other.
He quipped, "Not really, it was pretty old and missing a few pages."
If during the wedding ceremony, the man standing to the groom is called best man...
How come the woman next to the bride is only a maid?