Picked up a hitchhiker the other night and he asked me, "How did you know I was not a serial killer?"
I replied, "The chances of two serial killers in the same car are astronomical."
As I get older I realized....
I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.
Little Anne came running into the house after the school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!"
"That's great sweetheart!" said her daddy.
"Come into the living room and tell me about it," daddy continued.
Little Anne said, "Well, I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 in science."
Daughter: "Mom, are you gaining some weights?"
Mother: "Hon, it's because your dad always makes me angry. When I am mad, I eat a lot."
Daughter: "No wonder dad is bigger."