A local barber in my area just got arrested for selling drugs...
Blew my mind, I've been his customer for years and had no idea he was a barber!
What do you call a Magician without magic?
Ian.
Me: What's the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.
Barman: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Barman: £3.
Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first... No spaces, all lowercase!
Q: What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
A: His transparents.