One Saturday Little Johnny went fishing at a pond that was close to his house. After a couple hours of fishing the owner of the pond approached and indicated to Little Johnny that there was a "No Fishing" sign.
Little Johnny replied, "Well the fellow that printed that sign knew what he was talking about."
Milkman (to new hand): "Did you put water in the milk this morning?"
New hand: "Yes sir."
Milkman: "Don't you know this is wicked?"
"But you told me to mix water with the milk?"
"Yes, but I told you to put the water in first and then pour the milk into it. Then, you see, we can tell the people we never put water in our milk."
A couple from the east decided to vacation out west and visited a dude ranch. During the stay the tenderfoot felt that he had observed the horse riders and would be able to ride one himself. He mounted the horse and a moment later painfully picked himself out of the dust in one corner of the corral.
"Man, oh man," he said. "She sure bucked something fierce!"
"Bucked," said a nearby cowpoke, "Rats, she just coughed."
On a recent flight to Chicago it seemed that all the departure times were coming and going.
I inquired to the ticket agent, "What good are the departure times?"
"Well," began the genial agent, "if it weren't for those posted departure times we'd have no way of finding out how late we depart."