I spent five dollars for a weather app on my phone...
I got two dollars and fifteen cents back in 'climate change'.
A cheetah and a lion are racing...
The cheetah wins...
The lion says, "You a cheetah!"
The cheetah replies, "Nah, you a lion!"
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram...
I was like 0mg!
Me: "I think I have a crush on Beyoncé..."
Her: "Whatever floats your boat."
Me: "No, that’s buoyancy."