My horoscope said I was going to get my heart broken in 12 years time...
So I bought a puppy to cheer me up.
2014: Didn't jog.
2015: Didn't jog.
2016: Didn't jog.
2017: Didn’t jog.
2018: Didn’t jog.
2019: Didn’t jog.
2020: Still haven’t jogged.
This is a running joke.
I hate it when my wife says, "Are you listening to me?!"
Such a random way to start a conversation.
A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him.
He’s the new temp!