Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.
Man: Wait! I can explain everything.
Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son.
He said: “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”
My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes.
I asked her, "What should I do to stop my addiction?"
She said, "Hey, whatever means necessary."
"No, no it doesn't," I said.
Don't be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you...
Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.