An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on...

After the seventh order, the bartender stops and says, “You fellas ought to know your limits!”

Two pumpkins in the pumpkin patch were discussing what they wanted to be for Halloween.

One said he wanted to be a Jack-O Lantern, "... but I don't know if I can make the cut."