An older couple went to dinner at a trendy restaurant that had no printed menus--just a scannable QR code to see the menu on your phone.
After much grumbling about new-fangled things, they ordered a light dinner and afterward the waiter delivered the check.
When the waiter came back for payment, the husband displayed his phone to the waiter showing an image of a $100 bill.
"Here. You can keep the change."
My picky eater husband couldn't decide which slice of cake to eat.
Frustrated I put a slice on his plate, handed it to him and yelled, "Just give piece a chance!"
"I received a half dozen really cool ties for my birthday. I guess I'm going to tie one on."
His wife shook her head and said, "Just don't wake me up when you get home!"
A North Korean soldier was asked to measure the height of a comrade's rifle.
"I can't," he replied. "My ruler is only 12 inches."
The friend looked at him, rather confused, and said, "I actually think Kim Jong-un is taller than that."