Hell is a place where:
The lovers are Swiss
The cooks are English
The mechanics are French
The police are German and
The government is run by the Italians

Harry asked his wife: Did your leave a tip for the boy who delivers our paper?
His wife replies: Yes, dear. I put some of it in the bushes, some of it on the roof, and some of it in the front yard.

Officer at the shooting range: Get ready, aim, fire at will.
Soldier: Which one is Will?

Sergeant: "Private, I think the enemy soldiers are hiding in the woods. I want you to go in there and flush them out for us."

Private: "Yes, sir! But if you see a bunch of guys running out the woods, don’t shoot the one in front, sir!"