Did you hear about the two explorers, Bob and John who were going through the jungle when a ferocious lion jumped out in front of them?

Bob whispered to John to keep calm. Bob asked John if he remembered what they had read in the book on wild animals. “If you stand absolutely still and look the lion straight in the eye, he will turn tails and run away,” said Bob.

John said, “Fine. You’ve read the book, I’ve read the book, but has the lion read the book?”

Student: I would love for you to teach me a foreign language.
Teacher: Certainly. French, German, Russian, Italian, Spanish?
Student: Oh, which is the most foreign?

Teacher: Now, you must not say, “I ain’t goin’.” You should say, “I am not going, he is not going; we are not going; they are not going.”
Student: Wow! Ain’t nobody goin’ then?

Teacher: What are the four main food groups?
Students: Canned, frozen, instant, and lite.