A gentleman entered a busy florist shop that displayed a large sign that read “Say It with Flowers.”
“Wrap up one rose” he told the florist.
“Only one?” the florist asked.
“Just one,” the customer replied
“I’m a man of few words.”
The driving instructor was giving lessons to an extremely nervous student who panicked whenever another car approached on a particular two-lane road. One day, however, they got to the same stretch of road; and the student remained completely calm.
“This time you’re doing fine!” exclaimed the instructor. “Yes,” the novice driver agreed.
“Now when I see another car coming, I shut my eyes.”
Two prisoners were making their escape over the jailhouse roof when one of them dislodged a tile. “Who’s there?" shouted a guard.
The first prisoner replied with a convincing imitation of a cat’s meow. Reassured, the guard when back to his rounds. But then the second prisoner dislodged another tile.
The guard repeated, “Who’s there?”
“The other cat,” answered the prisoner.
A man was applying for a job as a prison guard. The warden said, “Now these are
real tough guys in here.” Do you can handle it?” “No problem,” the applicant replied,
“If they don’t behave, out they go!”