Two truck drivers applied for a job. One said, “I’m Joe and this is my partner, John; when I drive at night, he sleeps.”
The foreman said, “all right, I’ll give you and oral test. It’s two o’clock in the morning. You’re on a little bridge and your truck is loaded with nitroglycerin. All of a sudden a truck comes toward you at about 70 miles per hour. What’s the first thing you do?”
Joe said; “I wake up my partner, John. He never saw a wreck like this before.

An inebriated crook had a little problem and ended up at the police station.
“Couldn’t you get that crook to confess to the crime?” asked the police chief.
“We tried everything, Sir. We browbeat and badgered him wit every question we could think of.”
“How did he respond?
He just dozed off and said now and then: “Yes, Dear. You are perfectly right.”

“Hi, police department? I’ve lost my cat and …
“Sorry lady, this is not a police job, we are too busy…
“But you don’t understand… this is a very intelligent cat. He is almost human.
He can practically talk.”
“Well, you’d better hang up, lady. He may be trying to call you right now.”

“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist as the police clerk handed him a receipt for his traffic violation.

“Keep it,” the clerk advises. “When you get four of them, you get a bicycle.”