At a psychiatrist a man says, Doctor, I think there are two of me.
The doctor replies, Well, why don’t you both sit down and one of you tell me all about it.

A man visits his doctor and says, doctor, I keep seeing green Martians before my eyes.
The doctor asks have you seen a psychiatrist?
The patient says, "No Only green Martians!"

“I don’t want a car,” said the farmer to the persistent salesman. “I need a new cow.”
“But you can’t ride a cow along the streets.”
“True. But I can’t milk a new car, can I?”

A sign outside of a restaurant boasted “We serve anything you want,”
So one smart Alec went in, and ordered roast monkey and chips.
“Certainly, sir,” said the waiter and went into the kitchen only to reappear
a few minutes later looking very disappointed.
“No monkey,” smirked the smart Alec.
“It’s not that sir. We have run out of potatoes.”