Sign outside a farm house:
FRESH COW MANURE FOR SALE!
A filled bag - $5
Fill your own bag - $1
Honest------------ H is silent
Crumb------------ B is silent
Psychology------------ P is silent
Knee------------ K is silent
Butcher------------ T is silent
Sword------------ W is silent
Wife------------ Husband is silent
On a visit to the zoo, a small 3 year old boy passes the stork exhibit and looks up at the birds intently.
As his family then moves on, he turns to his father and says, "Gee Daddy, they didn't even recognize me."
Teacher: "Laura, were you copying Mandy's answers?"
Laura: "No, Miss Morris, I was seeing if she got mine right."