If you need a shoulder to cry on...
Just pull off on the side of the road!
While on a field trip to a local petting zoo Little Johnny breathlessly rushed up to his teacher and shouted out, "Teacher, teacher, I just saw a man making a horse!"
"Oh, Johnny, are you sure?" asked the teacher.
"Of course," said Johnny, "they were tacking on his feet as I walked by!"
What is the the difference in counting cattle vs sheep?
Counting cattle does not put you to sleep!
I recently ask a not so bright applicant to fax me her resume...
She replied that she could not as she only had one copy.