Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?

Someone told him to get a long little doggy.

Scene: A man applying for credit 
at a department store.

Clerk: What do you do for a living?

Man: I’m a tree trimmer.

Clerk: So what do you do after Christmas?

Every Easter our church stages an elaborate pageant. Last year the man who played Pontius Pilate had to work on the night of the dress rehearsal, and a chorus member substituted for him.

As we began rehearsing Pilate’s solo, the conductor stopped the orchestra. “Pilate, I don’t hear you,” he called out. “You’re not loud enough.”

“Pilate is at work,” a voice on the stage shouted back. “We’ve got our co-Pilate tonight.”

Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?

They ended in a tie.