Two old ladies meet for the first time since they left school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school, did you manage to live a well-planned life?"
"Oh yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire, my second to an actor, third to a preacher and I'm now married to an undertaker."
Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well-planned life?"
"One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go!"
The former President is disembarking his private plane, carrying his tiny dog.
One of his Secret Service men says, "Nice dog, sir."
The President says, "Thanks, I got it for the former First Lady."
The Secret Service man replies, "Nice trade, sir."