Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population?

Ireland. Every day it's Dublin!

A man is applying for a job in a circus. The interviewer asks: "So what can you do?"

"I can do a really good bird impression" replied the man

"Oh we already have people who do that here, we won't be needing you for that"

"Oh well," the man said sadly and flew away.

I went into my local bookstore and asked for a book on turtles.

"Hardback?" the assistant asked.

"Yes," I replied, “with little heads too.”

What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

"I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions."