Waiter: I just wanted to let you know kids eat free.
Dad: Good, I'll have water and my daughter will have the steak and a kid's light beer.
I may not be around in 2084...
But at least I know there's the possibility I may still be voting!
Magic is awesome.
Do you know the name of the magical stick that makes men disappear?
The pregnancy stick.
I got really angry with my car navigation today. I even yelled at it and told it to "go to hell."
Twenty minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house.