My neighbour banged on the wall at 430am this morning!
Can you believe it. Lucky I was still awake listening to music.
They banged and shouted, "Can we have a little respect please?"
I shouted back, "I'm not a big Aretha Franklin fan but this one’s for you!"
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
You’ve really gotta hand it to short people...
Because they usually can’t reach it for themselves.
I got my wife a metal detector as a present, but she didn't like it.
Strange, as she always likes to dig up things from the past.