I called Animal Welfare today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing four kittens."
“That's terrible," she replied, "Are they moving?”
“I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "but if they were that would explain the suitcase.”
I visited my new friend in his apartment.
He told me to make myself at home.
So I threw him out, I hate visitors.
My teenage son treats me like a god.
He acts like I don’t exist until he wants something.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying?
"Are you having a crisis?"