Robin: “The Batmobile isn’t starting!”
Batman: “Did you charge the battery?”
Robin: “What the hell is a tery?”
Me: "The kids haven’t eaten their sandwiches."
Wife: "Okay, just throw them out."
[Later]
Me (helping the kids pack a suitcase): “Look, I’m just as surprised as you are.”
Dad: “Son, I named you after my father.”
After My Father: “I know, Dad, I know.”
Man: I'm new around here. Will you please direct me to the bank?
Little boy: I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.
Man: Why should I pay you so much?
Little boy: Because bank directors are always highly paid.