A man is buying a suit from a local tailor. "I need to warn you," he says, as the tailor is taking his measurements. "That I won't be able to pay for this suit for three months."
"That's quite all right, sir," the tailor replies.
"By the way," the man asks, "when will it be ready?"
"In three months."
Little Johnny's mother was baking cookies one day. As she began to put a new batch in the oven, she suddenly noticed Johnny staring at the already baked cookies lying on the table.
"Johnny," she said. "Are you trying to take a cookie?"
"No," Johnny replied. "I'm trying not to."
Tommy: "Oh no, it's a run home!"
Suzy: "Don't you mean a home run?"
Tommy: "No, I really do mean a run home. I just hit he ball through Mr. Johnson's window!"
Jack: "I'm taking a weight lifting class. Every week the postal carrier brings me a new set of weights."
Bob: "Gee, you don't look like you've gained any muscle."
Jack: "No, but you ought to see the postal carrier!"