Past Winners

On a beautiful sunny summer morning there were two cows in a field.

The first cow said "mooo" and the second cow said "baaaaaa."

The first cow was surprised and asked the second cow, "Why did you say "baaaaa?"

The second cow replied, "I am learning a foreign language."

PUPIL: "Would you punish me for something I did not do?"

TEACHER:" Of course not."

PUPIL: "Good, because I haven't done my homework."

Teacher: Why are you late, John?

John: Because of the sign down the road.

Teacher: What does sign have to do with you being late?

John: The sign said 'School Ahead, Go SLOW!'

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. You gotta help me, I'm going crazy!"

"Let me take care of it," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"A hundred dollars per visit."

"I'll sleep on it," said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

"For a hundred bucks a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars."

"Is that so! How?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!"