elderly jokes

Now that I'm older and life has slowed down I've had time to take a closer look at things. I've found so much humor in everyday things, so much so that I'll sometimes burst out in uncontrollable laughter and hysterics.

The local gang members must really like humor and seem to respect my new outlook on life. So much so that they always give me a wide birth even after dark.

Took my 72 year old father to have his eyes checked. That's when we realized his eyes were just fine.

He was ask to read the characters on the bottom line. His reply: M-A-D-E- I-N- C-H-I-N-A

A senior couple pulls up to a rest stop to get something to eat.

Waiter: "How may I help you?"

Elderly Man: "Two hamburgers, please."

Elderly Lady: "What did he say?"

Elderly Man [yelling]: "He asked what we wanted and I told him 'Two hamburgers'!"

Waiter: "So, where are you heading?"

Elderly Man: "To Chicago to see our grandchildren."

Elderly Lady: "What did he say?"

Elderly Man [yelling]: "He asked where we're going. I told him we're going to see the grandkids!"

Waiter: "It sure is a nice day for a drive."

Elderly Man: "Yes, it's been quite pleasant."

Elderly Lady: "What did he say?"

Elderly Man [yelling]: "He said it's good weather!"

Waiter: "Where are you coming from?"

Elderly Man: "We started our trip from Pittsburgh."

Elderly Lady: "What did he say?"

Elderly Man [yelling]: "He asked where we're from and I said Pittsburgh!"

Waiter: "I dated a girl from Pittsburgh once. She wouldn't shut up and couldn't cook if her life depended on it."

Elderly Lady: "What did he say?"

Elderly Man [yelling]: "He says he knows you!"