entertainment jokes

I applied for a position as a magicians assistant, laying on the table as he cuts me in half with a giant saw.

I figured it's a job I could really get in-two.

"Hi."
"Hi."

"Did you eat?"
"Did you eat?"

"Are you copying me?"
"Are you copying me?"

"I love you!"
"Yea, I ate already."

Jeopardy answer: "Phew! I'm glad I got that off my chest!"

Jeopardy question: What did the target of the carnival hatchet thrower say after an errant throw?

I went to a concert the other night...

I didn't mind being so high up in the stands that I could barely make out the stage...

But to add insult to injury, did the ushers really have to hand out tissues for nosebleeds?