misc jokes

Bubba and Johnny Ray, two good ole boys from North Carolina, were sitting' on the front porch drinking beer when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of sod went by.
"I'm gonna do that when I win the lottery," said Bubba.
"Do what?" asked Johnny Ray.
"Send my grass out to be mowed," answered Bubba.

Q: Why can't idiots make Kool-Aid?
A: They can't get a quart of water to stay in the envelope

After drinking, Men talk unnecessarily, Become emotional,
Drive badly, Stop thinking, Fight for nothing
Women can do all these without drinking!

A shy man was feeling a little lucky and decided to ask the subdued provocative Librarian about seduction as he tended to be oblique in his intentions.
“Do you have any books on women seducing men?''
The Librarian answered without hesitation '' Why yes" she murmured.
Most likely found in the '' Fantasy section"