misc jokes

What tool does Count Dracula use when he repairs his car?
A Vamplier

Why do these 2 relationships differ so much: the orbital relationship between the earth and sun and that of a tether ball and it's pole?.......

.......that of the sun and earth is a no strings attatched relationship and the other is not!

A police man pulls over a drunk driver for not stopping at a stop sign and asks the driver if he saw the stop sign. The driver replies "I did but it turned red too fast for me to stop."

A teacher in a political science class asked the students, "Who is the most powerful person in the US?"
A student answered, "The First Pet?"
The teacher then asked, "Why?"
The student explained, "Because, the president kneels before him, talks to him, listens to him, follows him, prefers him to office staff, looks after his wellbeing before the voters', cancels/defers official duties in favor of him, and boards Airforce One first."