money jokes

I just want you to know that if I win the Powerball tonight, it won't change me.

It will change my phone number, my email address, my mailing address...

Rich old man had three younger friends that he wanted to do something nice for. He summoned them to his mansion. He told them he wanted to do something nice for each of them and was gonna give each one million dollars.

There was one stipulation, upon his death he wanted to be buried with that million from each of them. They all agreed. Several years later, the old man died. Fast forward to the grave site, the three men are there all by themselves.

1st man says to the 2nd man: “You know, I’m gonna miss our friend. But I have to admit it was tough to put all that money in the coffin.”

2nd man acknowledges and says, “Yeah, I know what you mean.“

The first two men look across the grave and say to the 3rd man, “You don’t look so sad. Did you put your million in the coffin too?”

3rd man says: “Oh yes, I did, and I’m gonna miss him too. But I don’t think he is gonna cash that check wherever he's going!”

7/11 isn't giving out free slurpees this year!

Instead of offering free slurpees, they will be offering discounted gas at a price of $7.11 a gallon.