puns jokes

I renewed my car insurance over the phone today, and as I was about to hang up the woman on the other end asked if I had a pet.

I said, "Yes, I’ve got a dog."

She asked, "Would you like to insure him too?"

I said, "No thanks, he can't drive!"

Two guys are driving in the countryside. One says, "Tiger Wood... isn't he famous or something?"

"Yeah, I think he plays golf or something."

"Does he have a brother named Fire who's in jail?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"I just saw a sign that said 'FREE FIRE WOOD!'"

I told my cat that I'm going to teach him to speak English.

He looked at me and said, "Me, How?"