puns jokes

I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist...

I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.

What do you call a snowman with a six pack?

An abdominal snowman.

The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”

I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”

I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...

I'm eggnogstic.