relationship jokes

Bo tells Jed, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go."

"Well, what are you going to do, then?" Jed asks.

"Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant."

"Yeah," Jed agrees.

"Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again."

"I remember," Jed says.

"Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again."

"So," Jed asks, "what you gonna do this year that's different?"

"Well," Bo replies, "this year I'm taking Earlene with me."

A man, fond of practical jokes, decided late one night to send his friend a collect telegram which read: "I am perfectly well."

A week later, the joker received a heavy parcel...collect...on which he had to pay considerable charges. Upon opening it, he found a big block of concrete which had this message:

"This is the weight your telegram lifted from my mind."

A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray.

"And what will your third wish be?"

The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?"

"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left."

"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I've always wanted to understand women. I'd love to know what's going on inside their heads."

"Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever, "That was your first wish, too!"