religious jokes

A priest asked a group of fourth graders in a religious class, "How many of you would like to go to heaven?"

All raised their hands except Johnny. The priest asked Johnny why he didn't want to go to heaven.

Johnny said, "I do, but I thought you wanted to go right now."

A minister parked his car in a no parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES."

When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note: "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION."

A Christian family was at a pet store when the owner suggested that they get a Bible Dog.
Family: Bible Dog?
Owner: Watch. Bible Dog pray! (Bible Dog starts praying.)

Owner: Bible Dog read! (Bible Dog starts reading scripture.)
Family: We'll take him.

One week later the family hosts a party. The family shows off the Bible Dog by doing the same tricks that the owner showed them. One of the guests say that's fine, but can he do normal tricks.

Family: Bible Dog sit! (Nothing happens.)
Family: Bible Dog come! (Nothing happens.)

Family: Bible Dog heel!
Bible Dog stands on his two feet and lays a hand on one of the family's head and says, "You've been saved!!!"