religious jokes

I feel sorry for Moses... he spent forty years wandering the desert, eating nothing but the bread off the ground and the occasional bird, and every day a million people would come up to him and ask, "Are we there yet?"

Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we'd drop them off at our church's children's chapel on Sundays before the eleven o'clock service. One Sunday, the subject was the Twenty-third Psalm.

The minister told the children about sheep, that they weren't smart and needed lots of guidance, and that a shepherd's job was to stay close to the sheep, protect them from wild animals and keep them from wandering off and doing dumb things that would get them hurt or killed. He pointed to the little children in the room and said that they were the sheep and needed lots of guidance.

Then the minister put his hands out to the side, palms up in a dramatic gesture, and with raised eyebrows said to the children, "If you are the sheep, then who is the shepherd?"

He was expecting the kids to refer to him. A silence of a few seconds followed. Then a young visitor said, " Jesus, Jesus is the shepherd."

The young minister, caught somewhat off-guard, said to the boy, "Well, then, and who am I?"

The little boy frowned thoughtfully and then said with a shrug, "I guess you must be a sheep dog."

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house... walked home... and le ft it there all night.

You gotta love George.