sport jokes

A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action.

A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year."

His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl, but I'll take it!"

Speedy Morris was the basketball coach at LaSalle and they were having a pretty good season. One morning he was shaving and the phone rang. His wife answered it and called out to him that Sports Illustrated wanted to talk to him. Coach Morris was excited that his team was apparently about to receive national recognition in this famous sports magazine. As a matter of fact, he was so excited that he cut himself with his razor. Covered with blood and shaving lather and running downstairs to the phone, he tripped and fell down the stairs. Finally, bleeding and bruised, he crawled to the phone and breathlessly said, "Hello?"

The voice on the other end asked, "Is your name Speedy Morris?"

"Yes," he replied.

Then the voice continued, "Mr. Morris, for just seventy-five cents an issue, we can give you a one-year subscription to Sports Illustrated."

For the second week in a row, my son and I were the only ones who showed up for his soccer team’s practice.

Frustrated I told him, “Please tell your coach that we keep coming for practice, but no one is ever here.”

My son rolled his eyes and said, ”He’ll just tell me the same thing he did before.”

“Which was?”

“That practice is now on Wednesdays, not Tuesdays.”