teacher jokes

In a very exclusive private school near California's Silicon Valley, a third-grade teacher was lecturing her upper high-class students about the less fortunate. She asked them each to write an essay about a poor family in the area.

One young girl's paper began:

"Once upon a time there was a poor family. The father was poor. The mother was poor. The children were poor. The nannies were poor. The pool man was poor. The personal trainer was poor. The gardeners were poor. This was a very poor family."

Today we’re going to study about growing a garden. Take out your weeding books.

Today we’re going to study pigs. Does everyone has a pen?

Today I am going to put a new spin on computer learning. Take out your lap tops.

Today we’re going to talk about death. And this will be on your final exam.

Teacher: "What's the difference between 'He cleans the plate' and 'The plate is cleaned by him'?"

Student: "In first sentence he is not married, but in second sentence he is married!"

Teacher: "John, what's the matter? Why are you looking so upset?"

John: "My dad is in police station and my mom is in hospital!"

Teacher: "Oh God! Please go home!"

The principal happened to see John leave. He asks the teacher, "Where's John heading to?"

Teacher: "I permitted him to go home because his dad is in police station and mom is in hospital."

Principal: "His dad is a cop and his mom is a nurse... where else they would be?"