Best Jokes

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.

One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.

As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, ‘The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

What happens when you fart in church?

You have to sit in your own pew.

The doorbell rang and the lady of the house discovered a workman, complete with tool chest, on the front door. “Lady,” he announced, “I’m the piano tuner.”

The lady exclaimed, “Why, I didn’t send for a piano tuner.”

The man replied, “I know, but your neighbors did.”

Husband: Tell me what you'd like for your birthday.

Wife: Frankly, I'd like a divorce.

Husband: Yikes! I wasn't planning on spending that much!