Best Jokes

Sam (boasting about his hunting trip): "All of a sudden I spotted a leopard..."

Pam: "You can’t kid me, they come that way!"

My grandfather has lion heart and eagle eyes!

Unfortunately we couldn't find other donors.

During a 50th anniversary wedding celebration, the father of the bride was asked to give a brief account of the benefits achieved from being married for so long.

He stood up, thought for a long moment, then said, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness, and...." he paused.

"And?" someone cried out from the back of the room.

"... and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single!"

While the family was sitting around the dinner table, Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother Andy, 3, and pointed to her dad. "That's not your real father," she said, startling the whole family.

"Yes, he is!" Andy replied.

"No, he's not," Jennifer insisted. "God is your heavenly father."

Then pointing at her dad, she said, "That's your homely father!"