Best Jokes

English lesson…

Tsunami T is silent
Psychology P is silent
Knife K is silent
Honest H is silent
Wife Husband is silent

Here are the reasons I'd like to thank Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, and my local grocer for having 25 checkout lanes and only three open at any given time.

- I can run next door and pick up my dry cleaning.

- I can catch up on my magazine reading without buying any.

- I can catch a quick catnap now rather than on the drive home.

- I can finally apply my top coat of nail polish with plenty of drying time.

- I can practice my standup comedy routines on unsuspecting fellow customers.

- I can assess what other people have in their carts and get exciting new dinner ideas.

- I have time to leave my cart in line and run back to get the 13 things on my list I forgot.

Alexander Graham Bell: “I invented the telephone!”

His brother, Taco: “I’m working on some pretty big stuff too.”

He tells the clerk that he wants a dog.

The clerk asks, "What kind of demeanor do you want the dog to have?"

The man says, "I'm looking for a guard dog, demeanor the better!"