Best Jokes

After a week of agonizing physical training, police academy cadets still hadn’t been admitted to the firing range. “I don’t get it,” huffed one trainee to another as they pounded out yet another five-mile jog. “What do you mean?” “We still don’t know how to protect people and property, but we’re getting real good at running away.”

You know your doctor is too old when you look at the framed diploma on his wall and realize his Hippocratic oath was signed by Hippocrates!

Toward the end of a particularly trying round of golf, Jack was the picture of frustration. He’d hit too many fat shots. Finally he blurted out to his caddie, “I’d move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course.” “Try heaven,” replied the caddie. “You’ve already moved most of the earth.”

A football fan is a guy who’ll yell at the quarterback for not spotting an open receiver forty-five yards down the field...

... And then head for the parking lot and not be able to find his own car!