Best Jokes

A guy drove to the beach and parked his car close to the water's edge - not realizing it was Low Tide - then he went for a long hike up into the mountains. During his excursion, High Tide came and then receded - completely submersing his car for a period of time in the process. When he finally returned to his car - he became very concerned when he found out that he had Tuna in his Mercury!

Two avid hunters take a hunter's safety class in which they learn that the universal signal for an emergency is three shots in the air.
Sure enough, on their next hunting trip the two men get lost.
One says to the other, "What shall we do?"
The other says, I know fire three shots in the air and someone may come to find us.
He fires off three shots, and they wait two hours. No sign of help.
What shall we do? Fire off three more shots. So he does. Three hours later there is no response and it is getting dark. The one says "Shall we try again?"
The other says, "I guess not... I only have two arrows left...

A couple had a fight after which the wife started packing her belongings. Her husband asked her, 'where are you packing to?' She answered, 'I'm going to my mother.' After a while, the man started packing too. She asked, 'what are you doing, where are you going?' He answered, 'I'm going to my mother'. She asked, 'what happens to the 6 children then? Her husband answered, 'you're going to your mother, I'm going to my mother, and the children will also have to go to their mother!!'

Q: Do politicians ever lie?
A: What do you think they get paid for?