What are the 3 most dangerous sayings in the Navy???
1. An Ensign saying "I learned this at the Academy"
2. A Lieutenant saying "Based on my experience"
3. A Navy Chief saying "Hey, watch this"
An idiot called the airport for flight information. "How long is your flight from Los Angeles to Denver?” he asked. "Just a minute," the pleasant agent replied. "Thank You" he said and hung up.
He asked for a putter, then drove three hundred yards onto the green. Then he asked for a driver and drove the ball to within two feet of the cup. Then he asked for a niblick and got the ball into the cup. “Now I’m in trouble,” he told the caddie.
“Why?”
“I don’t know what club to use to get it out.”
Everybody should pay their taxes with a smile, said Bob. “I tried it but they wanted cash.”