Best Jokes

How do you catch a squirrel that likes hazel nuts?
Climb a tree, act like a nut but whisper, "Oh, Filbert."

A giraffe walks into a bar. The bartender says, "mug or long neck?"

What did the young Arnold Schwarzenegger state, when attending music school in Austria, after turning down the chance to become another Beethoven, Mozart or Chopin? What did he say?

"I'll be Bach."

Q. What did the digital clock say to the analog clock?

A. Look, no hands!