Best Jokes

“I used to be in show business. I had a very spectacular act.”
“What did you do?”
“I used to dive into a wet sponge from a height of fifty feet.
But then I broke my neck.”
“Did you miss the sponge?”
“No. Some idiot squeezed it dry”

“Mommy,” said the baby polar bear, “am I one hundred percent pure polar bear?”
“Of course you are, son,” said his Daddy, “Why do you ask?”
“’Cause I’m f-f-f-freezing!”

Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal.
“There’s a human with a gun, and he’s getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?”
To which the second skink calmly replied, “Let us spray ….”

Two fleas were walking out of a cinema when they discovered it was raining hard.
“Shall we walk?” said one flea.
“No,” said the other, “Let’s take a dog.”