Best Jokes

Do you have a picture of yourself? So I can show Santa what I want for Christmas!

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc., everytime I drink coffee, I get terrible pains in my eye."
The doctor says, "Try taking the spoon out first."

Your mama is sooo fat when she swam in the Atlantic Ocean for 2 minutes, Europe claimed her as a country.

There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?"
The man replied, "Well sir, it was like this. We was drivin' down the road, mindin' our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pullin' up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was 'most dead, so he shot 'em. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him. Then he came over to me and he said, 'How you feeling?'" "I said, I never felt better in my life."