Two old buddies went fishing and one lost his dentures over the side of the boat in rough weather, so his prankster friend removed his own false teeth, tied them on his line and pretended he had caught the missing gnashers.
Unhooking the teeth, his grateful mate tried to put them into his mouth, then hurled them into the sea with the disgusted remark: “They’re not mine – they don’t fit!”
Wife: “How’d your doctor appointment go?
Husband: “Well, there’s good news and bad news. My blood pressure’s high and
I’m overweight. But, at the doctor’s suggestion, I’m going to take up golf!”
Wife: “And the good news?”
Did you hear about the politically correct country club?
They no longer refer to their golfers as having handicaps.
Instead they're, "stroke challenged".
Are you my caddie? asked the golfer.
"Yes, sir," replied the lad.
"And you are good at finding lost balls?"
"Yes, sir."
"Right then. Find one and let's star the game."