Best Jokes

Police officer talks to a driver: "Your tail light is broken, your tires must be changed, and your bumper hangs halfway down. That will be 300 dollars!!"

[Pause]

Driver: "Alright, go ahead and do it. They want twice as much as that at the garage."

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.

He took the precious book out of the sheep's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"Not really," said the sheep. "Your name is written inside the cover." 

A Sergeant was addressing a squad of 25 and said, "I have a nice easy job for the laziest man here. Put up your hand if you are the laziest."

24 men raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man, "Why didn't you raise your hand?"

The man replied, "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge."