Best Jokes

The dad took his young daughter to the movies. He occupied a seat near the middle of the theater, while the young lady went down to the front row to sit with her friends. The news reel was showing about the raging forest fires in California, which evidently frightened the little girl as she came back to take a seat next to dad.

"What's the matter?" he asked. "Did the fire frighten you?"

"Oh, no," she replied, "the smoke was getting in my eyes."

Upon Little Johnny's graduation his Aunt gave him a graduation present.

Little Johnny: "Thank you so much Aunt Vera for this present."

Aunt Vera: "Oh, that's nothing to thank me for."

Little Johnny: "That's what I thought but mother told me to thank you just the same."

Little Johnny was attending the birthday party of a classmate when the mother asked, "Little Johnny, does your mother allow you to have two pieces of cake when you are at home?"

"No, madam. "

"Well, do you think she'd like for you to have two pieces here?"

Little Johnny replied confidently, "She wouldn't care. It's not her cake."

I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked, “Electronic cat and dog call—guaranteed to work”.

I looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.