Best Jokes

A lonely kayaker wrote to a dating service explaining that he had specific criteria for a potential mate and would not accept anyone that doesn't meet his standard.

He described what his future soulmate should be like: the young lady must be cute, short, enjoys cold water and paddling.

A couple of weeks later he received the following in the mail: a picture of a penguin.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin’ Catholic.

After waiting in the hospital the nurse approached and inquired of the father, "What do you want? A boy or girl?"

The father replied, "A boy!"

The nurse said, "Well this time you got a girl."

"That's okay," said the father, being very reflective. "That was my second choice."

Each year our company holds a training session in the conference room of the same hotel. When we were told we would not be able to reserve our usual location, my secretary, Gail, spent many hours on the phone trying to work out alternative arrangements.

Finally, when the details were ironed out, she burst into my office. "Great news, Scott!" she announced. "We’re getting our regular room at the hotel!"

All eyes were on Gail and me as she suddenly realized she had interrupted a meeting with co-workers.